You Won't See This on Cartoon Network!
by Silverblaise
Summary: Gundam WingSailor Moon fusion. Heheheh I have a strange brain . . . 2x1, 3x4, DxR (a teensy bit) 5x6 (kinda) And by fusion, I mean fusion. ;-) Rated R for a reason.


Title: You won't see this on Cartoon Network!

Author: Silverblaise

Summary: GW/SM fusion. Heheheh I have a strange brain . . . 2x1, 3x4, DxR (a teeny bit), 5x6 (kinda)

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or Sailor Moon, and after seeing what I've done with them here, I really think that's for the best.

A/N: Yeah this was written pretty much on a dare on a GW message board, and I thought I'd post it here too just for kicks. This fic is intended purely as a bit of fun silliness so if anyone tries to flame me over pretty boys crossdressing and bending over lots I'll set cat!J on you. Other than that, enjoy! I would also like to ask if anyone wants to draw Heero in Sailor Moon's pyjamas (I'm pretty sure that was what they looked like) and post it somewhere and please tell me that would just make me extremely happy and make my year. And you have to admit pyjama!Heero would just look so, so adorable.

Warning: Extreme silliness and cheesiness, hentai imagery and bending. Lots and lots of bending. I wouldn't advise eating or drinking anything while reading this. Also, it _does_ contain implied friskiness and crossdressing. You have been warned. If it's not your thing then leave now, I don't want any complaints when this is the second time I've given a warning. Okay, serious bit over, enjoy the fic!

"Heero! Time for school!"

Heero groaned and rolled over, pulling the covers further over his head to block out the invading sunshine. A moment later something landed lightly on him and the head of a small black cat with a metal paw and a small G on its forehead stuck its face in Heero's.

"Get up you lazy thing," the cat scolded. "You need to get ready for school!"

Heero groaned again, still half asleep. "Oh . . . Zechs . . ." But the stern voice penetrated his dream and he woke up a little, blinking his eyes.

"Huh? Five more minutes, J," and he rolled over again.

The cat sighed in frustration and jumped back down to the floor. Heero eventually got up, wearing blue pyjamas with bunnies and crescent moons on them. He looked at the clock and grunted as it looked like he was about to be late for school yet again. He got dressed hurriedly, stripping off the pyjamas to reveal skimpy frilly underwear covered in yellow crescent moons with a small yellow bow at the front. He bent down to retrieve the clothes scattered over his floor and pulled on his oh-so-cute school uniform, with its rather short skirt, and ran downstairs, tripping and breaking his leg. Standing up, he reset it with a grunt and checked no one was looking.

"Wing healing power," he whispered, holding his hands over his leg. That done, he bent to grab his bag and ran out the door.

At school his friend Duo caught up with him. "Hey Heero! Come on, we're gonna be late again!"

They both stopped as an older boy with long blond hair walked past them. The air seemed to go all misty and kind of sparkly, with tinkly music playing as the blond hair swished slowly and the guy looked back at them. They both sighed.

"Isn't Zechs like totally the hottest guy you have ever seen?" Duo asked dreamily.

Heero nodded in agreement. "We'd better go in, I can't be late again."

Duo smiled. "Okay just let me do up my shoelace." And he bent over, his vibrantly coloured polka dot knickers peeking out from under his skirt.

"All done!" he said brightly, straightening up as Heero blushed and tried to pretend he hadn't been staring. They headed for their classroom but while walking up the stairs Heero tripped, bringing Duo with him, their skirts flying up.

"Oh Heero are you okay?" Duo asked, worried.

"Duo?"

"Yes?"

"You might want to move your hand."

Duo's eyes dropped to where his hand was resting. "Um, yeah, good plan." He jumped up quickly, helping Heero up as well and they straightened their uniforms, then ran to the classroom.

"Do you have any food?" Heero pleaded as they sat down. "I had to go out without breakfast. I'm starving!" And he tipped forward, his head coming to rest on his desk with a thump.

"Nope, sorry," Duo told him, then looked at him knowingly. "You slept in again, didn't you?"

Heero only moaned, finally raising his head from the desk. "It wasn't my fault! J had me up half the night, talking about how we need to find and defeat the Negaverse. How am I supposed to find the Negaverse when I can't even find a date for Friday night?"

"Hey you guys."

They both looked at the petit blond who had joined them and the taller brunette behind him. "You shouldn't talk so loudly Heero, someone might hear you. Oh! Here, you dropped your pen." He bent down to pick it up, putting it back on the desk while Trowa smirked behind him.

"Hey Quatre, Trowa," Duo greeted them. "Hey Trowa how come they haven't made you get a uniform like ours since you transferred to our school?"

All of them were dressed in blue skirts, white blouses with blue cuffs and sailor collars. Heero and Quatre had red bows on the front of their blouses while Duo had a red neckerchief. They all had black school shoes with frilly white socks. Trowa's uniform was similar except his skirt, cuffs and collar were green and his blouse had a lace up front, and he had green slip on shoes on his feet.

The taller boy just shrugged. "I dunno. Duo, your shoelace is untied."

"Oh, again?" Slightly exasperated he stood up and put his foot up on his chair, bending over to do it up, then sat down again.

The other two sat down and Quatre kneeled on his chair and leaned over his desk to pat Heero on the shoulder. "Don't worry Heero, we'll get Queen Relena and the Negaverse. I've been coming up with new strategies to try and beat them."

"That's great Quatre but could we talk about this later, like after lunch? And could I look at your notes? I got stuck on the homework again."

As they got ready for their class starting Trowa tried to throw a crumpled piece of paper into the bin but missed. He walked to the bin and picked the paper up from the floor, throwing it away properly, then walked back to his desk and bent down to pick his bag up before sitting down again. Their morning classes went well, soon the bell rang for break.

The class was empty except for Quatre finishing his notes and Trowa waiting for him.

"Now your shoelace is untied," Trowa commented, crouching down and gripping Quatre's ankle. He drew the foot towards him and moved his other hand up Quatre's leg under the skirt as the shorter boy blushed.

Duo's head appeared in the doorway. "Hey you guys coming for break?"

"We'll catch you up," Quatre told him, trying to keep his voice steady as Trowa moved closer.

The braided boy just shrugged and went to catch up with Heero, who had tripped again.

Duo and Heero grabbed a secluded spot under a tree and as Duo relaxed Heero began to stuff his face. "I wonder what Zechs does for a living," Duo pondered. "He has a great car, he must be rich."

Heero just shrugged.

"Hey you remember that weird stranger that helped us out before? Tuxedo Mask? Wonder if we'll see them again." Heero just shrugged again.

"Hey!" Duo sat up suddenly, a thought striking him. "Tuxedo Mask has long blonde hair right? And Zechs has long blond hair. You know what that could mean?"

Heero stopped eating and stared at him for a moment. "Are you going to finish that?" He pointed at Duo's can of soda.

The other boy sighed in defeat and handed it over as Trowa and Quatre walked over looking decidedly more . . . rumpled. "Hey guys," Duo squinted up at them, offering up a packet of pocky, "want one?"

"Mmmm thanks," Quatre replied as they both bent to take one before sitting down. "It's a shame Wufei goes to another school, he can't be here when we talk about things."

"We'll see him this afternoon," Trowa reassured him, "anyway we'd better go get ready, break's nearly over and we have PE next."

They all jumped up with Heero immediately falling over and giving everyone a nice view of his ass, and after bending to pick up their rubbish, headed for the locker room.

The boys got changed into their PE uniforms with lots of bending to do up shoes or pull off clothes. Trowa and Duo wore the long sleeved rugby shirt with blue and green squares and short, pleated dark green skirt and knee length green socks. Heero also wore the skirt but with a white short sleeved polo shirt, while Quatre looked cute in the white shirt and short blue shorts that barely covered his behind, and both he and Heero had short white socks. Duo and Heero both wore the blue shorts under their skirts and all wore running shoes. Trowa bent down to do up his shoes, showing that all he was wearing underneath was a black thong.

"Uh, Trowa?" Duo asked. "Aren't you supposed to wear shorts under there?"

"I know," the other boy replied, "and I was sure I had mine with me but I can't seem to find them."

"Well I'm sure they'll turn up!" Quatre exclaimed brightly while kicking something further into his locker and closing it. "Come on we'd better get out there!"

"Come on Heero," Duo clapped his friend on the shoulder then watched in dismay as Heero tried to jump over the bench and ended up sprawled over it instead when his foot caught. Duo tried not to laugh but at least appreciated the view of Heero with his ass in the air before reluctantly helping him up.

"And _bend_ and stretch, and _bend_ and stretch!" Their PE teacher intoned as the students stood in rows before her, Trowa and Heero in the front row with Duo and Quatre behind them.

The blond sighed happily. "I love PE," he commented. Beside him Duo nodded, slightly out of breath.

PE finished leaving the boys hot, sweaty and panting, and they headed gratefully for the showers.

"Oh clumsy me, I dropped the soap again. Could you get it for me Trowa?"

"Has anyone seen my conditioner?"

Heero, the floor's slippery, be care - " sliiiiip - thud " – ful."

"Is he okay?"

"He landed mainly on his head, he'll be fine. While you're down there Heero, you wanna pass my conditioner?"

"Uuuuuuh . . . Sure thing mommy, ooh I got pretty birdies flying round my head."

" . . . Umm o-kaaay. He'll be fine in a few minutes." Heero stayed sitting on the floor, a dazed look on his face. "Don't worry about it, I'll get the conditioner," Duo reassured him, bending to pick up the bottle himself.

They emerged dripping and wet from the shower and got changed back into their uniforms (more bending! Yay! Visualise the bending!) Duo and Heero went to the bathroom leaving Trowa and Quatre alone in the locker room. Trowa looked down at Quatre in front of him. Quatre turned and pulled something out of the bottom of his locker, smiling sweetly.

"Do you want your shorts back?" he asked innocently.

Trowa pulled something pale blue and lacy from his schoolbag. "Do you want your underwear back?"

"We're going for lunch, are you two coming?" they heard Heero's voice ask from the other side of the door.

"We'll catch you up!" Quatre called. They heard his steps retreating, then a thud and a mild curse.

After lunch they decided to skive off because . . . well because I'm getting bored of this and want to skip ahead to the good bit. Duo phoned Wufei on his Hello Kitty mobile phone to tell him what they were doing and ask him to meet them.

"Heero I'm not sure about us cutting class, it looks bad."

"But Quatre we're doing it for a good reason! We're going to look for the Negaverse!"

"We're going to look for the Negaverse in the video arcade?"

"Yes, yes we are. Now come on they might get away, and I want to play on the new Space Fighter game."

"Oh okay. Duo your shoelace is untied again."

"Aw dammit." _Bend._

They all began to head for the arcade, walking over the grates over the subway train tunnels. "Aaaaaah!" they all yelled as a train passed underneath, blowing up a strong gust of wind that made them all clutch at their skirts Marilyn Munroe style. Finally they made it to the arcade with Heero only tripping a couple of times.

"Hey there's Wufei!" Duo exclaimed, pointing to a boy with black hair tied back in a short ponytail waiting by the entrance to the arcade. Duo sighed. "It's not fair, Wufei's uniform is so much, like, cooler than ours, plus he's got such great legs."

"Here you guys are, I've been waiting ages," Wufei grumbled as they walked over. He was dressed in a short dark grey skirt, smart lighter grey jacket with a double row of buttons and a dark red bow on the front with a darker grey sailor collar. He bent down to pull up the knee length white socks under his mary janes and at that moment there was a strong breeze that lifted his skirt, showing his pale pink knickers with rosebuds on them.

Heero scowled at him. "You could have gone inside, we would have been able to find you."

Wufei frowned back. "That's not likely, considering you couldn't find your way out of a parking lot."

"Could so _Wufei!"_

"Could not _Heero!"_

Both of them stood in a face off, glaring and growling at each other with fire in their eyes. Duo sighed. "They're always like this when we get together."

Quatre stepped between them. "Now come on you two, we all have to work together and try to get along. Let's just go inside and play nicely with each other."

Reluctantly both boys nodded and stepped apart, following the others into the arcade.

"Hey look there's Cathy!" Duo shouted to the girl who worked in the arcade. "Hey Cathy!"

The girl turned and waved, Heero groaned when he saw who she'd been talking to. "Oh no what's she doing here?"

The other young woman had long blonde hair and was dressed in a black turtleneck, skirt and green jacket with black shoes and a black hairband in her hair. She finished her conversation and stopped as she was walking past them. "Oh it's you, mop-head. Shouldn't you be in school?" she asked haughtily, raising one forked eyebrow.

Heero glowered at her. "My name is not mop-head. And that's none of your business Dorothy."

She just shrugged elegantly. "Your head looks like a mop, I think the name suits you. Try not to trip over yourself too much." And with that she walked away.

Heero spun round indignantly, heading for the game machines. "I do not trip over -" trip thud "myself," he finished weakly, before scrambling to his feet. "Hn. Just forget her. Duo, I bet I could beat you at the new Space Fighter game!"

"You're on!"

* * *

Duo winked and held out his hand in a 'v' sign. "Ha I win again! Wanna play again Heero?"

"Agh! This game's too hard! No that's okay, I'm hungry again, we should get something to eat."

"You _should_ be trying to stop the Negaverse," a voice from the floor cut in. The boys all looked down to see Heero's cat J accompanied by a white cat, also with a G on its forhead.

"Hey J, G," Quatre said, bending down to pet them. "There haven't been any reports of anything weird happening that could be them, have there?"

The white cat with very fluffy fur around his head answered. "No, but you still need to be on your guard. And Duo, your shoelace is untied."

"Oh. Thanks G." As he retied it, the others surreptitiously eyed his too short skirt riding up.

"Well we can't be on our guard if we're distracted by hunger, so I still say we should get something to eat."

Wufei snorted. "You're always hungry Heero," he said, pulling up his socks again.

"Yeah, well, I need to keep my strength up. You coming or not?"

They all bent down to retrieve their bags and headed for the food court.

Unknown to them, a shadowy figure lurked in the shadows of the video arcade.

"Hmph. Look at all these pathetic humans, wasting their energy on these games. Energy that could be better used for Queen Relena and the Negaverse!"

With that the stranger drew out a black crystal, throwing it up to the ceiling where it hovered. A moment later bolts of lightning shot from the jewel to the arcade machines, turning the screens black. Those in the arcade screamed, and then all was quiet. The stranger smirked. "This should soon bring Sailor Wing running, then I can trap him for Queen Relena. And if the other Sailor Scouts try to interfere . . . I can deal with them."

And with a final, sinister laugh, the stranger was gone.

Blissfully unaware the five friends finished their food.

"So what should we do now?" Heero asked, stretching. "Head back to the arcade?"

The others agreed and they started walking back, when suddenly J stepped in front of them.

"Wait! I sense negative energy!"

"You're right J!" G agreed, craning his neck and sniffing the air. It must be the Negaverse! And I think it's coming from the arcade!"

Hurriedly they all rushed to the arcade and saw all the game machines flashing eerily, boys and girls standing in front of them playing but looking like zombies, their eyes vacant as they were drained of energy. The boys saw Cathy standing behind the counter wiping it with a cloth, seemingly completely oblivious, and ran over.

"Cathy!" Trowa exclaimed. "You need to get out of here! It's dangerous!"

She just looked at him calmly. "Dangerous? Don't be silly Trowa."

"Haven't you noticed what's happened to all the people in here?" Quatre asked incredulously.

Cathy looked around at the people at the machines. "Oh. No, it's usually like that. Although I have to admit it does seem a little quieter . . ."

The boys just all looked at each other. "Please Cathy, get somewhere safe, go on," Trowa pleaded, practically dragging her to the door.

"All right, all right," Cathy agreed, exasperated. "It was time for my break anyway."

Once she was gone they locked the door.

"This looks like the work of Queen Relena and the Negaverse!" Heero stated rather obviously. "We'd better transform!"

The other boys all nodded in unison. "Right!"

Heero held up what looked like a fancy powder compact (It was actually a locket – go figure) while the others pulled out fancy wands that could also be used as pens and explosives detonators.

"Wing . . . Gundam . . . Power!"

"Shinigami . . . Gundam . . . Power!"

"Sandrock . . . Gundam . . . Power!"

"Nataku . . . Gundam . . . Power!"

"Heavyarms . . . Gundam . . . Power!"

With swirls of coloured lights and catchy techno music playing they all magically transformed into outfits with even shorter skirts and struck poses! But then . . .

"Oops I dropped my wand!"

"Oh, my bootlaces are untied."

"Damn straps on these shoes . . ."

"Ooh a penny!"

Trip.

"So Sailor Scouts, you really think you can stop the Negaverse?" They all turned to see where the voice had come from and gasped. A man had appeared, dressed in black trousers, a black shirt with a mandarin collar and silver curling patterns on the front. They couldn't see his face as he wore a silver helmet covering the top half of his head, long, straight blond hair descending down his back from beneath it.

"So it's you who's responsible for this!" Sailor Wing exclaimed. "Arcade games are all about fun and releasing tension by violently beating the shit out of your opponent in a game rather than in real life! They shouldn't be used to turn people into mindless zombies, they do that on their own! So for this, I will punish you!"

Pose

The man just stood, examining his fingernails. "Oh, are you done?" he drawled. He quickly drew something from his pocket and threw it on the ground where it exploded in a cloud of thick black smoke, blinding the scouts and making them cough. When the smoke cleared both the man and Heero were gone!

"That guy took Heero!" Duo gasped, "We have to save him!"

"But what about these people?" Wufei asked. "We can't just leave them like this!"

"Sure we can!" Duo replied. "They're not going anywhere. Besides, we need Heero and his magical sceptre thingy to change them back anyway."

"Duo has a point Wufei," Quatre chimed in. "I'll bet that man is responsible for this, we need to find him and defeat him and get Heero back." Wufei frowned and crossed his arms while Duo stuck his tongue out at him in triumph. Quatre pulled a small blue computer out of his skirt. "I can try and use my computer to triangulate - "

"We don't have time," Trowa cut in. "They'll be at Tokyo tower."

The others all looked at him. "And how do you know that?" Wufei asked.

"Because these big important fight scenes always happen at Tokyo tower, now come on!" They got outside and saw that the sky had become dark and stormy; a black forcefield was slowly lowering over Tokyo tower. Trowa smirked. "Told you."

"It's Queen Relena!" Quatre cried. "She's trying to bring the Negaverse into our world! We have to stop her!"

"Well, duh," Duo muttered, rolling his eyes as they all started racing towards the tower.

"Hey Wufei," Trowa asked as they ran, "how can you run in those heels?"

"You get used to it," the Chinese boy replied. "Besides they make my calves look great."

The weather got stormier and windier as they ran on, finally making it to the tower just before the blackness reached the ground. Once inside they stopped to fix their hair and straighten their skirts . . . I mean, think up a battle plan. Yes.

"There doesn't seem to be anything else for it," Duo said, "except to head to the top of the tower."

"Brilliant plan Maxwell," Wufei snorted. "Are you sure you came up with that all by yourself?"

"Now come on guys," Quatre stopped the fight before it could start. "We need to get to Heero. We can't waste any time." They headed for the lifts. But they weren't working, so they had to take the stairs.

Meanwhile, the blond man arrived back in the Negaverse's dimension with the unconscious boy over his shoulder. The room was dark and shadowy and in good need of a makeover. In one especially shadowy corner there was a dark throne on which a figure was sitting, who leaned forward at their arrival, coming partly out of the shadows. It was a young woman with blonde hair and blue eyes, beautiful in a sinister sort of way, wearing a dark pink gown and headdress.

"Excellent Lightning!" she said to the blond man. "You were able to capture Sailor Wing!"

The man called Lightning dumped Heero on the floor and bowed low before her.

"Yes my queen, it was ridiculously easy. If the rest of the Scouts try to save him they will be dealt with."

"Wonderful," the young woman replied, rubbing her hands together in glee as the boy on the floor groaned, waking up. "We can now start invading the Earth to conquer it for the Negaverse!" She gathered a ball of purple-black energy in her hands, pushing it up to the ceiling watching it expand as it slowly rose and finally disappeared. "There. Soon we will be on Earth, and the sooner the better. They have such nice shops on Earth," she sighed, "and I feel as though I've been wearing this pink thing forever."

Heero groaned again, getting up on his hands and knees and looking dazedly around. Quickly he got to his feet. Then was on his ass, then got to his feet again, more carefully. "Where am I? What is this place?" he demanded.

"You're in the Negaverse Sailor Wing," said a sweet voice from the shadows. "And you'd better get used to it, because you're going to be here for a long tine!"

Heero turned to the shadowy throne Lightning was standing beside, seeing the figure seated there. "Queen Relena!" he gasped. "If you want my energy for the Negaverse, you're not going to get it!"

Queen Relena smiled, leaning forward. "I don't want your energy, I have something else in mind for you. I want you to be my consort and rule the Negaverse at my side!"

On hearing this Heero's face took on an expression of pure absolute terror. He stood still in shock for a moment then spun round and ran as fast as he could in the other direction.

Queen Relena stood up from her throne in annoyance. "This is my realm, you silly boy! There's nowhere you can hide!"

"Want me to get him your Majesty?" Lightning asked, but Relena waved him aside, sighing impatiently.

"No, it's all right. I'll do it." She hopped down from her throne and headed towards Heero on an intercept course but he dodged, so she started chasing around the room. "I'm offering you wealth and power!" she shouted, running after him. "Why won't you just give in?"

"But I don't want a girlfriend!" Heero wailed. "I don't even like girls!  
They're annoying and they smell!"

And he ran faster, his sense of self-preservation keeping him from tripping and landing flat on his face.

"Be mine and I could give you everything you could ever want! All I'd ask is that you change out of that Sailor Wing fuku!"

"I _like_ my fuku!" Heero shot back. "It makes me look pretty! And the answer's still no!"

"You're being very silly about this you know! All I want to do is love you and hug you and kiss you and show you off to my friends!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Meanwhile, the other Scouts are still hurrying as fast as they can up the stairs when they hear an unholy scream above them.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"That sounded like Heero!" Duo exclaimed. "Queen Relena must be torturing him in some horrific, unspeakable way! Come on, we have to get up there!"

Even though they were tired and their rather impractical shoes were killing them, they managed to gather their strength enough to run up the last few flights of steps and collapsed, panting, at the top.

"Ah, Sailor Scouts, you finally made it to try and rescue your friend," Lightning greeted them.

They all looked up at him in dismay. "Look man," Duo finally said, gasping, "we're beat. Just give us five minutes, okay?"

"Okay," the man replied calmly, folding his arms and leaning against a wall. They looked at him in disbelief.

"Really?" Duo asked.

He shrugged. "I may be evil, but I'm still a gentleman."

They all breathed a sigh of relief and sat on the stairs, catching their breath.

"Ow, I think I've got blisters," Duo huffed.

"I'm definitely going on a diet after this," Quatre groaned.

"Hmph, you are all weak. I didn't find it so bad," Wufei boasted, causing the others to glare at him.

Trowa had been behind the others going up the stairs. He said nothing, but had a strange little smile on his face.

Unfortunately Heero's good balance had been too good to last, and he had been so surprised to see the others he'd tripped and gone flying, allowing Relena to catch him and trap him in a web of negative energy.

"Guys!" he called out in despair, "you have to help me!"

"Does she want to drain all your energy from you?" Trowa asked.

"Worse! She wants me to be her consort!"

"Eeeeewwwwwww!" All the boys said in unison. Relena glared at them.

"We _definitely_ can't let that happen!" Duo shouted, jumping to his feet. "Come on guys, we have to fight!"

"Right!" the others shouted together, also getting up.

_Wow,_ Heero couldn't help thinking, _Duo's really hot when he's in determined fighter mode. And that blue bow really brings out the colour in his eyes._

Relena went back to sit on her throne while Lightning faced off against the Scouts, moving Heero so he was against the wall with his hands bound in negative energy above his head.

Duo couldn't help staring. _Drool. Heero looks soooo incredibly sexy like that I can hardly believe it._ Their eyes met and locked for a heated moment. _Whew! Okay,_ he thought with a new determination, _I am definitely getting out of this alive if there's even a remote chance of getting in those cute little panties. Time to get this guy!_

"Shinigami Scythe SLASH!" A glowing scythe appeared in his hands that he twirled above his head then aimed at Lightning, sending a curved beam of energy towards him.

"Nataku Dragon Fang STRIKE!"

"Sandrock Desert wind BLAST!"

Quatre and Wufei tried a double team attack, both spinning around a giant white and green glittering dragon appeared before Wufei, roaring and lunging at the blond man while stinging sands flew from between Quatre's hands, blinding him. The attacks were weakening him but he was still standing.

"Agh!" Lightning yelled, spitting sand out of his mouth. "Now I'll have sand in my hair! Do you _know_ how long that takes to get out? That's it!" He held one hand up in the air while another pointed at the Scouts. "HAAA!"

The Scouts yelled as bolts of lightning came from the ceiling, down the upheld arm and along the outstretched one to hit them all, shocking them. When it stopped they all fell down on their backs, legs in the air, groaning. Finally Trowa was able to struggle to his feet.

"Heavyarms lion ROAR!" There was a deafening sound of a lion roaring, bringing Lightning to his knees and making him cover his ears, giving the others time to recover. Lightning snarled and tried to hit Trowa with his attack but the boy was ready and leaped out of the way, spinning in the air before landing on his feet again. By this time the others were also on their feet.

"Sandrock Maganac attack!" Quatre yelled, and forty men ran in out of nowhere and started beating the blond man up.

Lightning was suffering from the attack but was able to gather a ball of lightning and throw the men off him, making them slowly fade away. Getting really angry, he drew a small rod from behind his back yelling, "I call upon – EPYON!" making a flicking motion with his arm and from the rod a long whip of glowing red energy emerged that he cracked in the air a couple of times, smiling triumphantly at the Scouts.

"Nataku Sword of Justice BURN!"

A fiery katana appeared in Wufei's hands and he rushed at the other man, but Lightning was able to use the whip to disarm Wufei and knock him back, sending him sprawling on the ground.

"Heavyarms heavy artillery FIRE!"

Dozens of beams of light shot from his fingers, but the blond man was able to make a shield using his lightning. However one shot did get through, hitting the silver mask and shattering it, revealing the face beneath. The others all gasped in shock.

"Zechs Merquise?" they all yelled in disbelief while the man just smiled.

"That's right, I've been working for Queen Relena all along, gathering energy for her and the Negaverse. And now I'm tired of this little game. Prepare to die, Sailor Scouts!"

He raised the whip above his head as the Scouts stood terrified, too shocked and afraid to move. Suddenly something flew out of nowhere causing Zechs to drop the whip and clutch at his hand in pain. There was a pink rose buried stem first in the ground, and a new rather curvaceous figure stood there, dressed in a tuxedo, cape and top hat, with long blonde hair and forked eyebrows showing above a mask over the eyes.

"You can't give up that easily!" the new arrival yelled at the Scouts. "Do I have to do everything myself?"

"Tuxedo Mask!" Duo yelled. "But we still need to save He- Sailor Wing!"

"You get Sailor Mop-head out, and don't worry about Blondie. I'll deal with him."

Duo nodded, stepping away from the others. "Shinigami shadow sneak!" he whispered, melting into the shadows (there were quite a few of them) and appearing a moment later beside Heero to free him.

"Don't you usually just use roses?" Quatre asked worriedly as Tuxedo Mask then reached under the cape, drawing out what looked like a rocket launcher and hefting it onto a shoulder.

"Roses only get you so far," came the calm reply as a net was blown from the weapon, trapping Zechs inside. Walking over to the struggling man Tuxedo Mask pulled out another rose, holding it to his face. The moment Zechs sniffed it he lay still, in a deep sleep.

"We still need to stop Queen Relena," Heero said worriedly, running over with Duo.

They all turned to face the young woman now standing angrily before her throne, glaring at them.

Tuxedo Mask smiled mysteriously. "I think I could keep the Queen distracted enough to stop her invading Earth." Going to stand before the queen the mysterious person smiled, then grasped her face and gave her a kiss that would have set the North Pole on fire, causing the top hat to fall off and the mask to slip. Finally they pulled apart, the Queen looking dazed, and the others were able to see who Tuxedo Mask was.

"Dorothy!" they all yelled together, mouths gaping open at the second large shock of the day.

She just looked at them all coolly. "Well? Somebody had to help you out. And there's no reason you should be having all the fun. Shall we go, Miss Relena?"

Queen Relena smiled. "Yes. I think I can leave this planet alone . . . For now."

With that they disappeared, the shadowy room was gone and the boys were left at the top of Tokyo tower.

"Looks like she left him behind," Heero said, pointing at the still unconscious Zechs.

"What should we do with him?"

Wufei hefted the man onto his shoulder. "I'll take him. I'm sure I could teach him the error of his ways," he smiled secretively, heading towards the lifts, which were working again. Duo and Heero followed, getting in the next one.

"Are you guys coming?" Duo asked the other two.

Trowa leaned down to whisper in Quatre's ear, his hand sneaking under the short skirt to his ass. "Have I told you yet how cute you look in that?" he asked breathily, squeezing.

Quatre shut his eyes for a second, letting out a quiet moan. "We'll catch you guys up!" he yelled quickly. Duo and Heero just looked at each other, shrugged, and pressed the button.

In the elevator both boys leaned against the walls, letting out tired sighs.

"Boy it's been a rough day," Duo said eventually. "Hey! The people at the arcade! They're still - "

"They should be fine now," Heero cut in, "with Queen Relena gone."

Duo relaxed back against the wall. "Oh, okay, that's good." He scowled. "I can't believe Zechs was evil. And Tuxedo Mask was a chick! Not just a chick but Dorothy! I'm never gonna get over that."

Heero nodded slowly then looked at him. "So . . . what do you want to do now?" he asked as they reached the bottom and the doors opened.

Duo put an arm around him and leaned in close as they walked out. "I could think of a few things we could do," he drawled suggestively. "Wanna go to mine and find out what they are?"

Heero looked at him mutely for a moment then smiled and nodded, and they all but ran back to Duo's house.

* * *

"It just goes to show you can't judge people by appearances," says Heero in a voiceover. "We all thought Zechs was great, and he turned out to be working for the Negaverse, while we thought Dorothy was a bitch, but – well, she's still a bitch, but at least she – helped us out." His voice hitches and he huffs out the last bit.

While Heero talks there is a quiet muttering in the background. "How the hell do you get this ? Ah got it." The sound of a zipper coming down is heard.

"So you shouldn't" he breaks off groaning. "Duo – don't – not now."

A soft snicker followed by another groan and muffled murmuring. "But Sailor Wing I want to play with _your_ sceptre."

"And who would think just by looking at them that Trowa and Quatre are such hentai sex bunnies? But - ummmmm . . . Um – what was I saying?"

"I heard the word sex, that's all I know," Duo's voice cuts in before some wet, sucking noises start.

"Ha! Ah yes um having sex in interesting places is good – oh." More panting. "Don't stop Duo – but having sex in bed is more comfortable, as long as you're prepared – oh shit Duo do we have - "

"Got it covered Heero," Duo interrupts again; there's a sound of a drawer opening.

"Oh good. And so - mmmph! Mmmmm. . . Umm be nice to people. S - Sailor Wing says!" he manages to blurt out quickly before another long breathy moan.

A/N Yes I made Zechs evil and Dorothy Tuxedo Mask! Hey, why should the boys have all the crossdressing fun?


End file.
